My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
