You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
