I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
