Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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