They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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