in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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