Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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