Got a toothbrush?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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