FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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