oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
