What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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