I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
