so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
