I bet he comes in French.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
