Porn is love you can see.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
