I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
