i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize