He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
