he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
