Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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