My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
