i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
