There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
