At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
