Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Found your dick twin last night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
