Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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