I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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