Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
