Plan B is the new Plan A
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
