She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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