belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
