wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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