I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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