I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
