I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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