kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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