So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
