onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
