if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
