Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
