the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Even the bartender felt bad for me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
