im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
