Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
