is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize