toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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