It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Its about making memories worth repressing
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So much rum. So many feels.
I have aggressive nipples.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
