The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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