dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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