I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
