I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
